Being a Maa

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Tiya with her Maa & Baba !!!

Being Married for four and a half years now, my life was never so wonderful & content. My relationship with my husband actually completed 10 years this June which includes 6.5 years of courtship too. We always thought we completed each other and wouldn’t agree more on that until the day our daughter stepped into our lives. We were blessed with our baby girl ‘Tiya’ on 7th of June 2014 and from that very first moment our lives was not the same any more. For me, one more label got attached to my identity considerably the most priced one till now i.e of a Mother. The identity with full of emotions & responsibility ready to take on the world, of course with some inhibitions & apprehensions along the way.

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Tiya – 1 week old

I can’t forget the moment my angel was born into this beautiful world & enriched our soul with an exceptional feeling never felt before. That first sight of twinkly sparkling eyes staring at me just after the moment she was born, is eternally imprinted in my mind for life. Even though I knew that newborns can’t see clearly for first couple of weeks, I still couldn’t comprehend the feeling that she was looking straight into my eyes. Since she was my firstborn I was expecting the most usual things to happen but much to my assumption, it was indeed a smooth sail. More evidently because she didn’t cried at all just after birth like the most other babies do. When the doctor placed her over my chest, the world just stopped for me at that moment & I could only remember her eyes & face. And before I knew, I was already in love head over heels with my little princess. Nevertheless, that very first look of her with those intriguing eyes still leaves me with endless emotions every time I think of it.

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Tiya in Saree during her Annaprashan (First Rice) Ceremony

Being an alone child, I was always skeptical about the over protective upbringing by my parents especially my mother. I always discussed & sometimes argued about the ways she didn’t let me do certain things on my own & believe me those things were undoubtedly the most petty ones. Those discussions / arguments never ended on the same note as we both had a different perspective to look at. Till date I had carried those strong aspects into my life until I became a mother myself. Suddenly all the viewpoints of my mom which I offended till now started mirroring in my thoughts. & I never felt so intrigued & guilty at the same time. Although there is no second thought that the aspects were indeed different while we argued in the past but today I am standing on the other side of the fence. & I hate to admit it that I precisely echo my mother’s thoughts without any hitch. It was rightly said, Never judge anyone unless you step into one’s shoes. I now understand the words she used to tell me – “You will know once you become a Mother.” I couldn’t agree more on this today.

Tiya - 4 months old

Tiya – 4 Months old

The anxieties & worries abruptly occupies your mind & are so dominant that you couldn’t help to ignore it. Your thinking eventually starts to change & before you realize you might have already surprised yourself in a way you have never expected. I hate to be called as a pessimist but being a mother especially makes you one more or less. You suddenly are struck with swarm of wild thoughts & your creative imagination takes a toll on you, obviously in a very obnoxious way. Out 0f nowhere thinking the worst becomes your part of routine & your actions will appear to anticipate & justify your mind despite knowing the fact that it is all merely a thought & is probably might not at all going to be realized in actual scenario. You start calculating the risks more than the positives & unintentionally skepticism becomes your best friend. Apparently being a parent is not at all easy.

But parenthood comes with a positive side too. You become more responsible & disciplined. The true value of time – down to couple of minutes & seconds was never appreciated to pieces as of now. You start prioritizing things & obviously engagements around your kid gets the preference. You are constantly thinking about your kid practically at all time, no matter in which situation you are in. You accomplish the art of multi-tasking in so many ways that you might have never known before. In short, your life takes a plunge upside down so dramatically that you are just left gasping & wondering about the changes occurred without any prior alarm or notice. Those changes for first couple of months might be stressful for most of the parents, but for us it was rather at ease & comfortable. We were relatively over-prepared for our baby as we have been informed & cautioned by our near & dear ones mostly about the worst. Although with Tiya, all those early parenthood months appeared so effortless & serene.

But I had to admit that the ride to parenthood is one of a kind lifetime experience. As a person, it enriches one’s soul with such tremendous emotions that one couldn’t imagine it unless it is encountered first-hand. That million dollar smile on your kid’s face just brushes off every worry, tension & tiredness in you at once. You feel like top of the world on your silliest move just to make your baby laugh. Sometimes being a parent will leave you with such immense & mixed emotions that at one moment you just want to shield your child from the world & on the other hand you just want to give the whole world to him/her. The affection for your own child will always be more intense than with any other kid. Every other day is a new venture in your baby’s life & being a part of that endeavor leaves you with utter contentment like never before. Your life gets altogether a different meaning & you yearn to direct your life’s aspirations towards more safe & secure future for your kid. You tend to invest more into the most pious & selfless relation ever without any expectation of returns. The relation – made in heaven with lifetime guarantee.

Rondrita

Welcome all to my small world of 'Chasing Infinity'…. The reflections of my endless random musings... A Platform to mirror my thoughts and bestow wings to my imagination.

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